God Wants to Use Me? No Thanks.
By Toby Armstrong
The word "use" brings to mind images of being a disposable object—something picked up for a task and discarded when no longer needed. If you've ever felt manipulated, whether in relationships or spiritual settings, this language can even be triggering, making you want to keep God at a distance. But what if we’re misunderstanding God’s intentions entirely?
The truth is, God isn’t interested in using us like objects or machines. Instead, God invites us to join in the work that is already being done in the world. This shift from "use" to "join" reframes the entire conversation. It’s not about exploitation; it’s about relationship and partnership—an invitation into something bigger and more meaningful than we can imagine. This change in perspective can free us from harmful misconceptions about God’s character and the way God operates.
Let’s be honest—when we hear that God wants to "use" us, it can bring up some tough associations. For those who have experienced manipulation or exploitation in any form, this idea feels like a spiritual replay of a painful past. It suggests that our value is tied to our usefulness, and that’s an abusive way to view any relationship, including our relationship with God.
This view can set us up for a performance-based faith, where we feel like our worth to God depends on how much we can achieve or do. This is a distortion of the truth and can lead to burnout, spiritual anxiety, and even trauma. When we think God only wants to "use" us, we lose sight of God's love, grace, and desire for genuine relationship with us.
In contrast to the harmful idea of being “used,” God calls us into partnership. Rather than being tools or servants, we are invited to participate in the work God is already doing in the world. This is a shift from being "used" to being invited into a relationship built on trust, love, and collaboration.
Missional theologian David Bosch helps us reframe this understanding of God’s work in the world, or "mission." He explains that
Mission is, quite simply, the participation of Christians in the liberating mission of Jesus, wagering on a future that verifiable experience seems to believe. It is the good news of God's love, incarnated in the witness of a community, for the sake of the world. -David Bosch
It is not something we initiate, control, or complete; instead, we are participants in what God is already accomplishing. We aren’t “used” to accomplish tasks for God, but we are invited to witness, discern, and join in His ongoing redemptive work. This reframing allows us to understand that God’s mission doesn’t start with us. It begins with God’s active presence in the world. We are invited into this grand redemptive story not because God needs us, but because He loves us and desires us to be part of His work of renewal, healing, and restoration.
If you've ever felt used or manipulated in your spiritual life, healing often begins with reframing how you understand God’s intentions. The idea that God “uses” us can often lead to distrust or spiritual burnout. It can feel like our worth is tied to what we can produce or how perfect we are. But the truth is, God doesn’t need us to be perfect or capable. God doesn’t require us to perform or achieve. Instead, God simply desires to walk with us, inviting us to join in the good work that is already happening.
As Wayne Jacobsen reminds us,
"God takes great pleasure in you just as you are, before you do anything right or accomplish anything at all."
This truth is at the heart of healing from spiritual mistrust. When we let go of the notion that we must be useful to earn God’s love, we open ourselves to experiencing the unconditional grace and acceptance that God offers freely. God’s desire is not to "use" us for a purpose but to invite us into a deeper intimacy, partnership, and trust. In that relationship, we are not defined by what we do or achieve but by God’s unwavering love for us.
This shift frees us from the pressure of needing to perform and allows us to rest in the knowledge that we are beloved simply because we are God’s creation. Healing, then, is not about fixing ourselves or meeting some impossible standard, but about recognizing that God’s love precedes anything we could ever do. This realization allows us to trust in God’s presence and to embrace the freedom of walking in partnership with God, knowing that we are fully accepted just as we are.
So, the next time you hear the phrase, “God wants to use you,” remember to reframe it. God doesn’t seek to use you like an object or tool but rather invites you into a journey of partnership. This is a path of mutual relationship, where God walks alongside you, guiding and shaping you through love, not expectation. It’s not about what you can accomplish for God—it’s about how God can transform, heal, and grow you as you join in the redemptive work already happening around you.
Reflect for a moment: where in your life have you felt like you were being "used" rather than invited into partnership with God? How might reframing this understanding lead to a deeper sense of healing and trust in God’s presence? By embracing this new perspective, we can move from feeling burdened to feeling empowered, knowing that God desires to work with us, not through us.
